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IslamQA: Dealing with intrusive family members

My parents and siblings ask way to many questions about my life, sometimes finding out way more than they need. What should I do? It's bothering me. Sometimes I feel like I have no privacy or that they give me no space. The relationship sometimes feel nonreciprocal as well, for example they do not always answer me or do not share with me about what's going on in their life. Can you give me some advice one what I should do?

Unfortunately it is very difficult to change the way family members treat us since they have been doing that for years and think it is the right way to behave. The best course of action is just to be patient and to try to minimize it in whatever way possible without upsetting them.

Best wishes.

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A. Puspadewi
A. Puspadewi
5 years ago

On the other hand, there is the kind of family who does not ask for their children’s life, whether it is trivial or not. I’m the last children of three from a family of five. My father and my mother never asked me how am I going. Even when I quit university and went to counselor for my depression, they didn’t ask in-depth question about what’s making me depressed. This made me mad, but I kept it to myself. Whenever I try to talk about it, my father went silent (giving no comment about what we’re talking about) and my mother denies the problem we have under our roof. Feels like we ignore the elephant in the room. I don’t really know what’s going on and ended up wanted to give no care at all.

It is perplexing when family members don’t get to know each other, but I guess it is also perplexing when they, too, are too nosy and want to know all about our lives. Happy and wholesome family seem to be so rare.

My sympathy towards the questioner and thank you brother for answering questions. I’m sure you’ve saved a lot of mind and hearts out there. Jazakallah khayr.