Why do you always suggest that biologically things would be better after we reach the age of 25?

The reason is that it is at the age of 25 that the most important part of brain development is complete. At this age it becomes much easier to control impulses and to act according to what you know to be right.

Salam, I read the ask from another person about feeling a lack of passion and I related to this question. But for me, I feel a lack of passion because I don't know how to correctly repurpose my passions to serve The Lord. For example I love painting and writing speculative fiction. But I don't know how doing that could help my Akhirah, especially because a lot of Muslims refer to this as a waste of time, and so I lose motivation and passion and end up wondering around lost.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

If you sincerely ask God for guidance on how to make yourself useful, then He will show you the way. God does not guide those who are proud, heedless or sinful, therefore a person who truly seeks guidance should begin by purifying themselves from all sins and insincerity. The next step would be to dedicate an extra amount of time everyday to God’s remembrance, such as reading the Quran for an hour everyday. And it is at this point that you can ask for guidance knowing that God will guide you and will be with you every step of the way.

I would think that painting and speculative fiction are ideal places for a Muslim eager to serve God. You could create meaningful art or write inspiring and meaningful fiction.

I feel God doesn't exist. my life is about to end. i feel so hurt. But nobody cares. Allah doesn't help. He don't care about his mankind.

In my own life there have been periods where I felt I was abandoned by God, but I realize that it was always due to may own actions and my own refusal to truly submit to Him. As soon as I did that, everything changed. God can allow you to feel abandoned in order to show you your own weakness and desperate need for Him. But a person who has truly submitted will realize that God always prevents their lives from becoming intolerably bad. Things get bad for a while but God always comes in and saves the day from an unexpected direction.

Please see my essays:

God has not abandoned you: Regaining your sense of purpose when life feels spiritually empty, lonely and meaningless

Islam and Depression: A Survival Guide

Is it bad to be reclusive and not talk to people unless spoken to?

Islam does not ask you to do more than you are able. Some people are simply more reclusive than others. If you can carry out your duties and maintain polite relationships with people then reclusiveness is not an issue. Also note that many great scholars, such as Ibn al-Jawzi, recommended staying away from most people due to their often harmful talk and gossip. He recommends staying at home to read and avoiding going to social gatherings whenever possible in order to focus on reading and learning.

Salaam. Need help & advice. I have sinned and I am sorry in my heart that I’ve displeased Allah swt. But I do not regret committing the sin 🙁

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

If you wish that you had not committed the sin then that is sufficient. You cannot always control your emotional responses to your actions. Even if you do not *feel* sorry but you *think* sorry and wish to avoid it, then that is what matters.

Also not regretting sins is a sign of not having a close relationship with God. I recommend daily Quran reading, especially the Meccan suras, for building such a relationship.

What advice would you give someone who has a celebrity crush, is it wrongful? (for extra info I don't have any sort of personal hopes surrounding this like meeting the person in real life - although I do daydream about the person sometimes, nor do I expect whoever I end up with to be like this person.)

We cannot always control our attachments to people, so as long as you carry out your duties, work to maintain a close relationship with God, and you do not let it cause you to sin then that is what matters.

Assalamualaikum, i want to ask about the words kaffir and musyrik. Can you tell me what is the difference(s) between those words? Thank you.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Kafir is a person who knows the truth but denies it. In Islam it refers to a person who has sufficient knowledge and experience to believe in God, but who intentionally disobeys God and even denies His existence.

A mushrik is a person who makes something other than God the object of their faith or worship. A person who worships a statue, or an atheist who puts his faith in science, or a kafir who worships his/her own desires, can all be considered mushriks.

Assalamu 'alaykum…I did not know that we are supposed to say takbeer whilst praying behind an imam, is my prayer invalid or is it valid since I did not know? I did say the opening takbeer but I remained silent for the takbeerat that followed. Jazakallahu khayr. I also came home after I found out about this and did sajda sahw.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Saying the takbirs other than the first one (known as takbīrāt al-intiqāl) is a sunna, not a fard, therefore there is no issue with you not having said them (although a person should not intentionally abandon them). Also note that these takbīrāt al-intiqāl should be said silently (in a whisper), only the imam says them aloud.

References:

• Fatwa from the Qatari Fatwa Authority (Arabic PDF)

In prophet Lot’s story in the Quran , it is said that when his people try to barge in and rape his guests (the angels ), he outright offered them his two daughters to rape instead which is something that I can’t really wrap my head around and can’t understand why it would be in any way considered better than the alternative and why the Quran would even mention that ?

The nature of Prophet’s Lot’s offering of his daughters is never made clear in the Quran. It’s usually interpreted as meaning that he was offering them in marriage, or that he was referring to all the women of his town as his “daughters”.

We know that Prophet Lot was under extreme psychological stress at this time, and that he felt overpowered:

He said, “If only I had the strength to stop you, or could rely on some strong support.” (The Quran, verse 11:80)

So it’s possible Prophet Lot himself didn’t know what he was offering them! We don’t know how many men there were among the attackers. If their number was greater than the number of Prophet Lot’s daughters, perhaps Prophet Lot thought that he could satisfy the chief men by marrying his daughters to them while also thinking that other women from the town can always be found for the rest.

For more on this please see this previous answer: Did God destroy the People of Lot for rape instead of homosexuality?

Assalam alaykum. I have a problem with wasting time, and I always say to my self “let me just finish this episode, and then i’ll Read Quran”. I use too much time in social media, and i’m not motivated at all. I want to be motivated, so I can be exited to read Quran, and to increase my knowledge. I hope you can help me. Jazakum Allah khair.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

The lack of motivation can be due to a medical condition such as ADHD or depression, and without the right medications it may not be possible to have motivation for a person who suffers from such conditions. Another issue is impulsivity; people younger than 25 have not completed their brain development and are less able to manage their time, but once they get older they get better control.

Unfortunately I do not know of any solution for these issues. You can find many articles on the Internet for avoiding procrastination and being productive, but I doubt the efficacy of the solutions they provide.

Assalamualaikum I would like to know if a non-Quresh can become a leader of the Muslims

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There are a few hadiths that say the caliphate is only for Quraysh. But since the caliphate no longer exists and since there is no strong evidence that it is obligatory on Muslims to have a caliphate, this is no longer relevant. The leader of a Muslim state can be from any tribe or ethnicity.

Recently I noticed that some muslims have somewhat different version of tashahhud recitation. Most of it is the same but some use different ending or so. Why is that so. Thanks

The reason is that different versions are transmitted in different hadiths and different scholars and schools (madhhabs) prefer different ones.

Hey assalamu alaikum I’ll forward some messages here from previous conversations with someone who gave me worse explanations

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

I broken up your question to address them individually.

there’s something called child support he pays money to support his family not to pay his supposed to be wife I feel worse about myself now so it’s true my actual purpose in life is to be my husband’s maid and sex slave?

Marriage is a contract between two equal partners. Your purpose in life is to do what is good for you and your family. You are not your husband’s property, maid or sex slave.

What about women’s shahadah(testimony) is half of men’s?

For this issue please see: Why men and women have different gender roles in Islam

Ok what about inheritance I know why is the man worth of 2 women’s value I know the reason but can it be applied in today’s world? And why does a daughter get only a part of her share if she doesn’t have a brother her share is taken by her fellow male family members ?

In the Islamic legal system, which still applies today, it is a man’s legal duty to take care of his wife and children. His larger share of inheritance is meant to help him with this duty. A woman has no such duty and her inheritance is entirely her own, while a man’s inheritance is divided between himself and his wife and children.

Ok how do I obey someone who’s not as smart as me?

It is your duty as a free person to choose a man who treats you the way you like to be treated. Islam does not force you to get married, and it does not force a certain type of man on you. If your husband makes unfair demands, you have the right to divorce.

The 4 wives thing isn’t really encouraged I know that but I heard that certain people are allowed to have sex with whoever they want like sultans.

Islamic law works to eradicate slavery and concubinage while tolerating it in societies that already practice it. For more on this see: Understanding Islam’s Sophisticated Approach to Slavery: Why Muslims Practiced Slavery in the Past, and Why They Reject it Today

And in surah al talaq there’s an ayah that proves pedophilia is halal I didn’t know that at all I thought they were referring to the pregnant al talaq verse4.

In colder countries women may not start menstruating until the ages of 16-18. Such women can still marry (including in Western countries) and they need this verse to tell them how to calculate their idda.

What about the eddah after the husbands death or after divorce why do I have to sit at home for 4 months and 10 days whereas he can marry the same day I died or the same day we divorce.. just think about it is having such authority possible in a mutual relationship?

One reason is to deal with the possibility that she may be pregnant. Islam does not want a pregnant woman to engage in sexual intimacy with a man other than the man who impregnated her. There may also be social reasons; society may function best when women do not immediately remarry after the death of their husbands.

Ok why is only him allowed to marry nonmuslim women and I not?

Because children are more likely to follow the religion of their fathers rather than their mothers. Muslim women married to non-Muslims are more likely to fail at passing Islam down to their children.

What about many and multiple hadiths that curse women who take care of their eyebrows, not wear hijab, the camel way of hijab.

Many of those hadiths are either fabricated or come to us from a single Companion, which means that they do not impart certain knowledge. You can ignore any single-Companion hadith that seems to conflict with Islamic ideals.

And tattoos are prohibited both for men and women yet only women with tattoos are the cursed ones.

The reason may simply be that only women used to practice tattooing at that time.

Men are still allowed to have 70 hoor al ain and not me. There me no equality there?

The 70-virgins hadith is not a reliable hadith. See Misquoting Muhammad by Jonathan Brown. As for women’s relationships in Paradise, we simply have no knowledge, and the vast majority of Muslim women are fine with the way things are. If you live piously you can trust God to give what makes you happy in the afterlife.

Also the same ayah that talks about the husband’s disobedience Allah says that we have to forgive him but if it’s us they have the right to degrade us it’s kind of degrading think about it it’s your spouse not your parent I searched about it and found some people saying that the verse doesn’t mean strike (hit) it means just ignore

God does not say to forgive such a husband, He says that the husband and wife should get arbitrators from their families to judge the issue. Regarding the wife-beating issue please see my essay: A new approach to the Quran’s “Wife-Beating Verse” (al-Nisa 4:34)

One last question ? If the husband doesn’t afford to pay his wife the obedience rule falls down right ? If I pay my own bills so we can be equal? I’ve always thought women are equal to men in Islam until I started arguing with many Islamophobes that sorted many of these things out to me I read about it I found they were true.I kept telling myself ofc there’s a hikma behind them and I just need to ask the right person.And I never had the courage to but now I did Look I really love my religion , I pray 5 times a day I’m a hafiz and I’m going to hajj this year so I really want to clear this up before I go.Look first I thought it’s just temporary thoughts and questions and I ignored them and now I realized they’re not just temporary as time goes, I feel worse about myself and I feel that women in Islam are less than men so that’s why I decided to seek answers

I think you are misunderstanding the issue of obedience. Your husband is not some lord over you who commands you. If he does that then you have married the wrong type of person. Your husband is your equal spiritually, and “obeying” him simply means that you do not do anything that would be a deal-breaker. You can make demands of him, if he demands something unfair you can tell him that, you can enlist the help of his family or your family, and you can threaten divorce. No Muslim woman should ever have to obey unfair demands from their husband or act like slaves for their husbands’ whims.

I live in Saudi Arabia and religious people there don’t believe in different mazhabs and they believe they have the right to continuously force me to wear niqbab or they’ll kick me out of tahfeez I really love memorizing the Quran it was my decision too but I just never read the verses regarding women in depth I’m sure there’s justice behind them that I don’t know about..I mean I rarely wore niqab there anyways look they’re not bad but they keep on talking about women in a really stupid way as if our purpose in life is to cover up from men because they’re some monsters or either please them after marriage .. other than that they’re really kind and good people

That’s entirely a problem with Saudi culture. If you go to the middle class of Iran, Turkey, Egypt or Malaysia, you will find that men and women are treated as equals and there is little of the problems you describe.

But there’s no Hadith that curses men it’s always women there’s even a Hadith حديث أبي هريرة  قال: قال رسول الله ﷺ: إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فأبتْ فبات غضبان عليها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح[1]، متفق عل that curses women who do not consent to sex .. can you please explain it? Because many people said Islam encourages marital rape what if it’s the opposite??

That’s a single-Companion hadith; such hadiths do not impart certain knowledge and can be safely ignored.

What’s the hikma behind this verse الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا Please a non misogynistic explanation.. do women have to hit slightly their disobedient husbands ?? And if no as expected why? He’s doing his responsibilities as a father he did nothing for his born baby other than child support so why does the woman have to obey them to the extent that he can hit her? I’ve even read hadiths that if women were to chose to prostrate to the sun or their husbands they should prostrate to their husbands? What’s so good about husbands and why are they that superior in this life and the hereafter?

Please see my essay: A new approach to the Quran’s “Wife-Beating Verse” (al-Nisa 4:34)

Why do humans always need to believe in something and why do humans incline to do good even it is not always easy?

I believe the answer to both questions might be that our souls recognize God’s presence, so they need to either accept Him or accept something else that helps them oppose Him. Humans incline toward good because God inspires us in that way, just as Satan inspires us to the opposite.

What are you views on people using anecdotes with a lot of mistakes and also pseudoscience to give dakwah or reminders. They will then say that their main point is to remind to do good deeds.

I believe that it is unacceptable to use any kind of falsehood for the sake of Islam. The first allegiance of every Muslim should be to the truth and nothing but the truth. So I completely opposed to that sort of thing and consider it not just morally wrong but harmful to Islam since it causes people to lose their respect for the religion when its leaders are willing to speak falsehoods and inaccuracies for the sake of some supposed greater good.