3 Islamic articles on: backbiting in Islam

Table of contents for the topic backbiting in Islam
  1. Is it backbiting to tell a friend or doctor about people’s wrongs and abuses?
  2. The Islamic view of following celebrity gossip
  3. Repenting from ghayba (backbiting): You do not need to tell the person

IslamQA: Is it backbiting to tell a friend or doctor about people’s wrongs and abuses?

Assalamualaikum. I was stressed and felt helpless these past 3 days. My close friend offered to listen to my problems. I told her and she asked if I had problems with my parent. I said it was my father. She knew I had anxiety issue so it was a little relief after telling her. But what's bothering me now is, have I sinned because I said bad things about my father? I do complain about him to my friend… I felt guilty.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah

There are exceptions in Islam to the no-backbiting rule. It is permitted to complain about someone who has wronged you, or to tell a friend or psychologist about issues you have been having to seek help, advice and support. So if you do it with the sincere intention to get help and support, and not out of a desire to harm the person’s reputation or to get pleasure from gossiping about them, then it is permitted.

So inshaAllah there is no sin on you.

References:

IslamQA: The Islamic view of following celebrity gossip

Is it sinful to read articles about celebrities or talk about them? Is that like backbiting? I know this question is a little strange but it just struck me.

It is only backbiting if you mention a negative fact about someone that would upset them if they heard it. So some types of celebrity gossip can be considered backbiting. But that gossip is public knowledge, it is not a very serious form of backbiting.

The Quran also forbids us from spying on others. Much celebrity gossip comes from journalists spying on them to find out facts about them.

Since there is often an element of backbiting and spying in celebrity gossip, it is best to avoid it and not seek it out.

IslamQA: Repenting from ghayba (backbiting): You do not need to tell the person

my grandmother always chats a lot and gossips. I am working on my nafs to avoid talking a lot of things that wont benefit me and to not talk in other peoples absence but I am failing at this. I share room with her and because that she is old I respect her and can't tell her to stop. I don't want to get sins because of backbiting. How can I fix this? Is it true that you have to go to the person who you backbit about to seek forgiveness? thats impossible for me.

Regarding repenting from backbiting, according to the early Islamic scholar and ascetic ʿAbdullāh ibn al-Mubārak (d. 797 CE), one should not ask for forgiveness from the person because this would only hurt them a second time. He says the way to get kafāra (to get the sin forgiven) for backbiting is to pray for forgiveness for the person. This is also the opinion of the Shāfiʿī scholar Ibn al-Ṣalāḥ (d. 1245 CE).1

Since it is your grandmother who is initiating the backbiting, you will not be blamed for hearing what she says if there is no easy way of avoiding it. You can try to gently discourage her. If this is the most you can do, then this is all that you are responsible for. One strategy for discouraging her might be to mention good things about the person she is backbiting. If she says so and so did that bad thing, you could say, as part of the conversation (not in an argumentative manner), “And remember that time when she did that nice thing for you?” That could make her feel abashed for a while. If you keep doing this she may get tired of it and reduce how much she tries to involve you in her backbiting.