Selam I have a problem I suffer from OCD scrupulosity aspect of it. To be honest my personal relationship to Islam is so messed up I don't know where to start. With my prayer and wudu I am in constant doubt. I repeat multiple times because i think I passed gas or ect. I find no peace what so ever, it has become quite an agony. I feel completely overburden with rules too. How to eat how to sleep how to enter bathroom ect. At night I don't sleep cause I constantly think i must make dua/zikr to GOD to thank him. I get up and face mekkah (not sure if I have to for dua) but i feel I must do wudu also. Of course by then I am awake and cant sleep. My job has big responsibility I am afraid I will make mistake. I am so tired from lack of sleep. I must be honest I am thinking about giving up on Islam. I read what these sheikhs have to say and its all about haram all the time. I feel so overburden, I don't want to leave my faith but I just can't go on like this anymore. I have read, though by some Shia scholars who say that person that suffers OCD should not repeat prayer or clean the impurity like urine even if person believes he is certain of it due to the nature of disease OCD. That could help me but not sure if that ruling is OK. Please if you can offer some advice I would appreciate it.
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,
I strongly recommend that you get medical help. There are drugs that can help greatly with your condition. It is abnormal to worry about the Islamic way of eating, sleeping and entering the bathroom; these are all recommended things, not obligatory, so you do not have to worry about them. It is not Islam that is at fault, it is your mental condition. So your first focus should be on addressing your condition through medical help.
You can also search online for supplements for OCD. Buy them and give them a try.
I also recommend that you read the Quran daily and make it the center of your life. Stop worrying about the unimportant things and focus on what the Quran tells you.
Also see the previous articles on: Islam and OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
Best wishes.