Assalamu alaikum. I am a 30 year old male from the USA. I fear that Allah has abandoned me. He has given me test after test for years now. I am a good, practicing Muslim, I am involved in my community and do good work. I am without a spouse and fear I never will obtain such. I do not have any hope for the future. I cannot deal with this pain and hardship anymore. My only options are to continue to suffer living this hell of a life or end my life and have an eternity of hell.
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,
Sorry to read about your situation. It sounds like you suffer from depression, which can be caused by loneliness, neglect and trauma during childhood, or other things. I recommend that you see a mental health professional. The right treatment and medications can help you feel good enough to work to change your situation. Another thing that could help is having a friend that you talk to daily. Having close friends can significantly reduce depression and increase the joy you take in life. I will be happy to be your friend. Send me your phone number and I will add you on WhatsApp and we can talk more there.
Also check out my two essays below:
Islam and Depression: A Survival Guide