2 Islamic articles on: Dealing with siblings in Islam

Table of contents for the topic Dealing with siblings in Islam
  1. The responsibility of the oldest child in Islam toward their family
  2. Hating a sibling for abusing her family’s trust

IslamQA: The responsibility of the oldest child in Islam toward their family

Salaam. Brother, I want to ask you something. Does the eldest child have to be the backbone of the family? What if the eldest child is a girl and both her parents are still working, and her siblings are still students, what does Islam say regarding this and what are your personal opinion about women being the breadwinner? Thank you for your time.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There is no special legal obligation on the oldest child. A non-legal obligation may arise from their situation; for example the oldest child may be in a position to help the younger children and take care of them in some ways, this is a moral rather than legal obligation and would apply equally to both males and females and carrying it out would be an act of charity, while not doing it may or may not be sinful.

Children, however, have a legal obligation to financially take care of their elderly parents according to their ability and applies to both male and female children.

Additionally, males have a legal duty to financially take care of their needy sisters and other female relatives that they would inherit from in case of the female person’s death. But this is a matter of disagreement among the scholars.

Regarding women being breadwinners: if this is something that they arrange with their spouses/families then there is no issue with it. A woman’s earnings that go to her family would be considered charity since it is not her duty to earn money (while for a man it is a legal duty).

Sources:

IslamQA: Hating a sibling for abusing her family’s trust

Assalamualaikum. I wanna ask something, how not to hate your own sibling who really made a big mistake that affecting people around her especially our family? I feel really mad at her because she's really made a really huge mistake and also she had misused the trust that we put on her, like my family really trusted her but then a whole thing is a lie. I'm really sad seeing my parents lose their appetite and sleep. I really can't see her face right now but she's my sibling.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

How you feel is a natural human reaction to that situation. Islam does not expect you to stop being human, it only expects you to keep your impulses under check and to do what you know to be right and kind whether you feel like it or not (to the best of your ability). Just give it time and maybe you will start to feel better toward her, especially if she works to regain your love and trust. If she approaches you and asks to be forgiven and be given another chance, then the pious and admirable thing to do is to accept it and go along with it even if you are still too upset to consider forgiving her.

You may also be interested in this previous answer, it is about parents but it somewhat applies to siblings too: Is it sinful in Islam to not love your parent?

Best wishes.