Asalam Walikum, why is it not considered rape if your spouse raped you? People have told me Islam does not consider that [rape]
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,
There is no clear statement in the Quran or hadith on this question, so scholars have simply used their own personal and cultural opinions about it. Since they think a husband has a right to sexual intimacy with his wife, they do not think that the idea of rape applies in marriage.
But there is nothing to force us to accept their views. Personally I think forcing sexual intercourse on a woman is a disgusting and vile thing even if she is one’s wife. So my opinion is that sexual intimacy should only happen with the woman’s agreement and if she does not agree to it, then she should be left alone. If she always refuses sexual intimacy then the husband can seek divorce.