Asalam Aleikum WaRahmatullah Almost everyone I know, who is married and Muslim, began their relationship in a haram manner (dating, calling, texting ect.) for years before marrying. I am afraid that it will be really hard for me and a lot of people in today’s society to get to know a possible future spouse in a Islamic manner, and I’m afraid I will “give in” to a haram relationship
Any advice?
My answer: Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah, It is true that we have many more ways available to us to give in to that kind of temptation. The thing to do is to hold onto God through daily remembrance (for example reading the Quran for 30 minutes every day). As long as we are close to God, we can resist our desires with relative ease. If we do end up succumbing to that temptation (maybe after justifying it to ourselves, saying it is halal to just talk), then we can try to correct our course as soon as we can.
But even we arrange a marriage through means that are not entirely “Islamic”, the result can still be good. So the realities are complicated. Merely talking to a stranger over the phone is not a clearly defined sin, although it is a betrayal of one’s family and a doorway to sinful things. The temptation will always be there to try to get closer to someone we desire. This is just a fact of life that we will have to accept like all other temptations. Holding fast to God is the best way to resist such temptation.