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IslamQA: He hurt his close female friend by breaking off their friendship

Assalamo alaikum. There was this really good and decent person i fell in love with. We talked about work stuff, spiritualism, books and joked. She never found out that i was falling for her. Then i realized that this was wrong. My religion has strict rules about na mehrams so i stopped talking to her. She almost begged to tell her the reason behind this. Because i knew she would find some loophole to resume our friendship, i never told her. I don't talk to her anymore. I hurt her, i know. But i had to choose between Allah and her and to me the answer was clear. Is the way i hurt her worthy of punishment?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Sorry to read about your experience. It would have been better to explain to her why you felt the relationship was inappropriate. And if you considered her a good potential wife, you could have proposed to her and made your relationship with her public. Then with the permission of both your families you could have continued your relationship (if she agreed to get engaged to you).

It is a good thing to try to avoid getting romantically involved with people you are not engaged to. But it is much better if you sincerely express your feelings and give her the chance to decide to get engaged to you or not.

And God knows best.
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