rape

Islam’s solution for a woman who lost her virginity due to rape

If a girl is raped as a child and thereby loses her virginity, then that would make marriage difficult for her later if her future husband values virginity as very important. What is Islams view/solution for this?

I know of no technical Islamic solution for such a situation. There is, however, a spiritual or common sense solution that I am sure many women in such a position already know. A man who firmly believes in human dignity and who sees her as a person rather than an object, and who is willing to think the best of others, will accept her explanation and will not count it against her even if she has no proof she was raped. Of course, many “Muslim” cultures will consider marrying such a woman a questionable thing. This is a case where the most religious can be the most open-minded.

Cultural Muslims who know little about religion and spirituality will judge things according to their cultural traditions (which often value virginity very highly). Spiritual and devout Muslims will judge things according to their religion’s spiritual ideals. From a spiritual perspective, if such a woman’s present manners and reputation support her story, then her lack of virginity is going to be a complete non-issue.

She must share the fact of her lack of virginity with suitors before the marriage, but after she judges that the suitor is worth trusting. She can try to find out each suitor’s mindset and personality. If she discovers that a man is narrow-minded and judges things mostly by cultural tradition rather than spiritual ideals, that is a good indication that she should reject him without sharing her story. Sharing that story puts her in a very vulnerable position (if the man talks to others about it).

So it just depends on the particular man. After getting to know a suitor and speaking to him many times perhaps she will be able to judge whether he is worth trusting. If he seems open-minded and pious, then that indicates that he might be the type of person who will not mind her lack of virginity and who will be willing to accept her as she is.

Did God destroy the People of Lot for rape instead of homosexuality?

According to science human sexuality is on a spectrum and same can be said about gender identity. As you answered someone's question here and advised them to read the Quran . You said that we have different psychology. I wonder then why Allah said in the Qur'an that people of Lot were approaching men instead of woman (if they are wired differently, then it makes sense that they would approach men). I find many Muslim blogs giving really simplistic answers and many of them have no background in gender studies. My second question about the topic is why do everyone interpret it as same-sex what lot’s people did? It’s obvious that’s it’s rape, because the angels were hiding at his house ? Why did he tell them to approach woman or the fact that he wanted to give his daughter in marriage. Rape is wrong regardless if it’s same or opposite sex. Tbh I feel very confused. What I’ve noticed here on Tumblr is that the only ones who sees it for what it is (rape) are Muslim lgbt

The understanding that the People of Lot’s chief sin was homosexuality comes from the Quran. In the places where their sins are mentioned, the main one is clearly stated as homosexual acts:

54. And Lot, when he said to his people, “Do you commit vile obscenity in full awareness?

55. Do you approach men sexually instead of women? You are truly ignorant people.”

56. But the only response of his people was to say, “Expel the family of Lot from your town. They are purist people.” (The Quran, verses 27:54-56)

And in other chapter:

80. And Lot, when he said to his people, “Do you commit vile obscenity no people anywhere have ever committed before you?”

81. “You approach men sexually rather than women. You are an excessive people.”

82. And his people’s only answer was to say, “Expel them from your town; they are purist people.” (The Quran, verses 7:80-82)

The above two passages do not mention anything about rape or other crimes they may have committed. Prophet Lot’s main criticism of them them is that they “approach men sexually”.

This third passage expands on their sins:

28. And Lot, when he said to his people, “You are committing a vile obscenity not perpetrated before you by anyone in the whole world.

29. You approach men sexually, and cut off the way, and commit vile obscenity in your gatherings.” But the only response from his people was to say, “Bring upon us God’s punishment, if you are truthful.” (The Quran, verses 29:28-29)

If you do a fair-minded reading of the Quran, you cannot escape the conclusion that the vile obscenity referred to is the fact that they were men who had sex with other men. A strong piece of evidence in this regard is the verse you referred to:

And his people came rushing towards him—they were in the habit of committing sins. He said, “O my people, these are my daughters; they are purer for you. So fear God, and do not embarrass me before my guests. Is there not one reasonable man among you?” (The Quran, verse 11:78)

Lot’s attitude appears to be: “If you are going to be raping people, then do not do it in a homosexual way, because that is doubly evil.” He is also concerned with his honor before his guests. In the Middle East, one principle of hospitality is that one’s guest is placed above one’s family. So Prophet Lot has two reasons for offering his daughters: Raping them would not be doubly evil, and it would help him avoid breaking the all-important hospitality rule that requires him to protect his guests.

Note that the angels tell Abraham (Prophet Ibrahim) that they have been commanded to destroy Lot’s people before they actually enter Lot’s city. So their destruction is not something decided on the spur of the moment by God for trying to rape these male-like angels, their destruction had been decreed before the angels enter the city (The Quran, verses 51:32 and after). It is true that Lot’s people are rapists, but since the Quran’s main criticism of these people centers around the fact that “they approach men sexually instead of women”, it is natural to conclude that they were destroyed for this, rather than for rape alone.

The obvious conclusion is that they were destroyed for engaging in homosexuality, rather than merely for rape. I know that there is a strong desire to interpret these verses as saying the destruction was due to rape, but this is a far-fetched interpretation.

I am aware that gender identity issues exist and I have every sympathy for a person who feels they were born into the wrong sex or who feel that they do not fit into the traditionally accepted roles that society determines for them. Islam does not say that these issues do not exist; it says that one should give preference to God’s laws as opposed to their own personal fulfillment, because God has the best interests of humanity at heart. It is true that psychology and genetics plays a part in making a person homosexual, but this does not make it OK. I explain the reasons why in detail in my essay On Islam, Homosexuality and Homosexual Muslims.