Islam and friendship

On helping a friend come back to Islam

Assalamualaikum... My friend talks to her male colleagues and goes out with them... and sometimes she put heart emoji when she replies to their posts on social media. The problem is, she thinks that it's not wrong because they're just friends. She's really good but i don't know why she's doing this! What should I do? Jazakum Allah khairan

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

That appears to be because of a lack of knowledge or piety. In general trying to make someone else a better believer leads only to negative results because you would be scheming to change someone’s state of mind which people find offensive, since they want to be free to reach their own conclusions. My advice is to never make someone your “project” where you try to improve them, that is a highly insulting attitude to have toward a fellow human.

Instead, attain a deep state of spirituality yourself (such as by spending an hour every night in tahajjud and Quarn-reading as I explain here). If you achieve such a state, your manners and character would probably do more to encourage her to become better than any argument. Al-Hasan al-Basri says:

Preach to others by your deeds, not by your words.

You could buy her beneficial books or encourage her to go with you to lectures. But you should not be attached to achieving any result. The best way to convince her to become better is to first become an admirable Muslim yourself, and second, to let her know through your words and actions that you love her for who she is rather than making your love for her conditional upon how well she lives up to your expectations.

Dealing with betrayal and slander from friends

So I've shared a secret to a friend and said to her she shouldnt tell anyone especially not to person xy.. so what she did was exposing me infront of this person and told him/her everything what I said (the secret wasn't about the person I just wanted to make sure she don't tell it anyone).. she also told other person about it who weren't involved in it.. she blocked me on social media etc.. all this people are talking behind my back and everyone ignores me and possibly hates me for it..

These people are Muslims.. I’m so depressed these days.. can you say what should I do and is this a sign in form of punishment by Allah swt say because of my sins? I’m so confused and sad about it. They won’t listen to me.. I even apologized but they ignores me.. please help me!

All of God’s prophets were lied about, ignored and attacked by their societies, just because it is happening does not mean that it is a punishment. Perhaps it is preparation for something better that will come. Perhaps it is there to help you see who your real friends are and who the shallow and selfish ones are.

God is your protector. Always remember this verse:

That is because God is the protector of the faithful, while the evildoers have no protector. (The Quran, verse 47:11)

If God is your protector, then nothing that happens around you can possibly harm you, even if from appearances the thing is hurtful and upsetting. God is your protector, seek to please Him and forgive and forget those who wish to hurt you.