Please note: The answers on constitute friendly advice rather than fatwas. Where relevant, we translate the opinions and fatwas of respected scholars and present them in our answers.

Should one support one’s mother or grandmother in a conflict?

Asalam aliekum my mom is not nice to my grandma, should i support my mom or my grandma.what does islam say on this, please reply as family is going through lot of stress

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Sorry to read about your difficult situation. The Quran says:

As for those who believed afterwards, and emigrated and struggled with you—these belong with you. And as for family members, some of them are nearer than the others in the Book of God. God is Cognizant of everything. (The Quran, verse 8:75)

The above verse and others and hadith narrations all tell us that our duties toward family members increase with their degree of closeness. So you have a greater duty toward your mother than your grandmother.

But the Quran also says:

O you who believe! Stand firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even if against yourselves, or your parents, or your relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, God takes care of both. So do not follow your desires, lest you swerve. If you deviate, or turn away—then God is Aware of what you do.

So we should try to balance our duties toward family members with our duty toward truth and justice. If your mother is unjust to your grandmother, do your best to avoid supporting her in this injustice. And if it is more just to support your grandmother, do it in a way that avoids upsetting your mother. Try to keep good relations with both of them (which I know can be difficult when you have to make a choice between two relatives).

And God knows best.

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